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October 28th, 2006

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11:43 pm - Samhaintide
For blueeyedtigress, mourning a friend

How shall I write a memorial
Before my friend is dead?
My friend still has some way to go
Before the entire path’s been tread.
The courage as the battles were fought
And the days of hope when all seemed lost
To others who could not have thought
The battle to have been waged so long.
Rest comes soon, and ease of pain
For the dying, who will live again.

The living now, begin the long journey
Of life without the beloved.
With loss comes sorrow, but in memory
The loved live on, unmoved
By the years yet to come for those who remain
On this side of the Veil. Will memory sustain
The living lover, family, and kin, the friends
Whose sorrow has just begun? Only time will tell
For whom memory of good times will mend
The sorrowing hearts in times to come.

Say farewell, beloved friend, but not forever--
Await me on the other side; or if not,
Let us know each other when next we meet
On this side, that our friendship end not.

Owl Moon and Dark Forest Covens presented the NROOGD Samhain public ritual this year, and I played a minor part in this wonderful ritual. I think I was supposed to be in the Land of the Dead, but I ended up on the Land of the Living, just at the Veil, (usually) holding a hand of the person awaiting their turn through the Veil. I found it important all of a sudden that the person facing the Veil not be there alone. I began to realize that I could apply this in daily life, and either volunteer or work at a hospice. Now, this is not the kind of work that I am actually looking for, and I may find I don't handle it well, but I think I have to try.

The poem above is for a woman I don't know, but via mdlbear, I encountered blueeyedtigress, and her post regarding her boss's wife, who is dying after a long battle with different cancers. Read her Oct. 26th post. Comment if you have any answers for her.

Two years ago, my mother's body was finally dying of pneumonia, ten years after a stroke. In the first 24 hrs after I got home from seeing her for the last time (and we knew it) she did die. I thought I was up to a Samhain ritual that night, but as it turned out, I was very much not able to face people, to participate in a ritual where I had to be social, where I had to have my grief out in public. I stayed in the car the whole time, except for a brief bathroom break, where I avoided any contact. I think I was waiting to feel something that let me know she had passed, but I was not so permitted.

Tonight was my first public Samhain ritual--all others heretofore have been private and small, on Samhain itself in front of a fire with a small group of friends dealing with their dead, and welcoming a few new lives. I managed to get through it without damage or disorientation.

(2 comments | and then you say)


[User Picture]
Date:October 29th, 2006 07:58 pm (UTC)
Thank you for posting such a lovely poem. I'm glad you went to the Samhain ritual.

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